The cover, the come-on
E "Eddy" Edwards
"I hope we never lose some of the things of the past." - Walt Disney
("Footer motto" from Kiddie Records Weekly, and who are we to disagree?)
It's mid-July, 1955, and there you sit in transfixed. Hotter `n hell outside, but here in the living room your face is cooled by the bluish glow of the giant 21 inch cathode ray tube in your family's RCA Victor RotoMatic TV set. It's late afternoon, maybe it's early evening.
Outside, it's your yard, your neighborhood, your village / town / city. But sitting there right . . . NOW, you are miles away from mundane everyday foo-foo-rah because you're tuned to your local ABC affiliate to watch . . .
"Disneyland!"
Sure, the "Disneyland" show's been a favorite since way, way, wAY back (last year). But right now, on the set, is Walt Disney, appearing by video magic to tell you stories based around a few kinda general themes: "Frontierland," "Fantasyland," "Tomorrowland," "Adventureland." The Tomorrowland episodes were especially nifty: cool space rockets with guys who look a whole lot more real than all that stuff on "Space Patrol" (Commander Buzz Corry's OK, but Happy? Whatta Astro-dink . . .). Heck-fire, these were even introduced by Wernher von Braun — Mr. Man in Space himself — (those shows kinda bugged your dad who's hip still wasn't what it used to be thanks to a chunk of V2 that went half-way through it when he was in England in the war. "Nice one, Disney. From Mickey Mouse to that fat-assed, rat bastard Nazi scheißenkopf," you heard him mutter, pouring another shot of Old Granddad).
Disneyland "DIY" projects
on the back page of the album
Not only, but also: now and again, Walt would give an update on this amusement park-y thing he was building. One time, he even talked hep while high-speed trucks drove all over this big dirt lot building stuff. Mom hates hep talk. It was so neat!
That was then, and boy-o-boy is this NOW! Right there on your TV, — live! — from Anaheim, California (and you always thought that was a place Jack Benny made up). The Real Place is OPEN!
"To all who come to this happy place - welcome.
Disneyland is your land . . ."
DAAAAAAAAAAD! Did you hear that? "Welcome!" "Your land!" The Mouseketeers! Tomorrowland! Ronnie Reagan! Boats like in The African Queen! C'mon, when are we gonna go? Hunh? Hunh? HUNH???
The answer: not now and, more than likely, not for a long time. Because wherever it was from which you were watching Bob Cummings be Bob Cummings, odds are it wasn't just a quick `n convenient freeway ride away. Your village / town / city wasn't Anaheim; you didn't have Disneyland at your beck and call.
But you did have J.J. Newberry's. Or a Kresck's. Or Kresge's. Or Woolworth's, or anyone of many, many other five and dime stores. And each and every one of them sold toys and other fine products from the Mattel Toy Company, products that included flexible, 78 rpm unbreakable records with really neat pictures on them, records like . . .
"Your Trip to Disneyland!"
Five records! A fold-out picture of the real Disneyland! Projects on the back of the record package that you could make your own self! Wow!
An adequite substitute for the real D/L? Nay! But it did buy your old man serious points when he gave it to you.
Behold! Disneyland!
So what if the girl who is supposedly Tinkerbell isn't the real Tink (well, `sha! We all know that Tink don't talk, and why the heck does it sound like she's carting around a telephone? And what's wrong with Mickey and Goofy? Why do they sound
so, uh . . . "different." Must be the record player. Yeah, that's it . . . maybe a few more pennies on the end of the tone arm will help).
Aw, marketing in the good old days: no disney.go.com, no cross-marketed, corporate-branded, bland-pop AM radio on the minivan stereo, no 57 different flavors of Disney channels 24 / 7 / 365. But by Jiminy, it sure got the job done.
Our special thanks to the good folks at Kiddie Records Weekly, a passel of wonderfully obsessive flexible kiddie record maniacs who know a worthwhile entertainment "Lazarus" when they hear one.
Introduction:
"Hello everybody! You know me, I'm Tinkerbell! I start the Disneyland television show ever week!"
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Frontierland:
"Hey kids! Tinkerbell! Mickey! Donald! C'mere! I got a surprise for ya!"
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Fantasyland:
"Oh, yes! It has a happy ending . . . just like eveything else in Disneyland!"
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Tomorrowland:
"In Disneyland, we live three lives: past, present . . . and future."
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Adventureland:
"Why look! We're back at the village! What a wonderful trip!"
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